Alright so I know I’m usually pretty positive on and offline. The title of this post suggests otherwise but bare with me, it’ll all make sense by the end. First let me give you some examples then I’ll clarify.
So, you’re getting ready for work when your babysitter calls you. She’s got the flu and couldn’t possibly watch your kid. Everyone else you know works as well so what do you do, you call your job and explain why you can’t come in today.
Your best friend is going to Vegas for their birthday. You’ve known the date for months but spaced on saving the money for the weekend outing. So you tell your friend hey I’m sorry I can’t afford to go.
You got fired from your job and for months have been burning through your savings. Rent is due but you don’t have enough so you borrow from a friend. You tell your friend you’ll pay them back soon it’s just there are no jobs right now.
What do all three situations have in common? Bad excuses! Sounds harsh but think about it, they are avoidable. For the person without a back up babysitter, would you drive your car without a spare tire in the trunk? Then why go through life like that?
For the person that couldn’t afford a weekend out. You’ve know for months, you couldn’t have fit it into your budget to save a little here and there ahead of time?
For the person that lost their job, been there a couple times myself so I feel your pain. BUT how many applications are you putting in a day? If you say less than 50 apps everyday until you get hired you’re not really trying that hard. Are you?
If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way, if not, you’ll find an excuse. – Jim Rohn
Jim was on point. More often than not, excuses are devices we use to avoid things we don’t want to do or that are not important to us. Being “busy” is the same shit! People make time for the things and people they care about it (if you’re dating remember that). We make up excuses mainly because we care what people think of us. We don’t want to look bad or hurt anyone’s feelings. Here’s the thing though nobody is thinking about you, not actively at least. Your parents, your significant other, your siblings, unless you are talking to them right now I promise they are not thinking about you. Even strangers don’t worry about you. Have you ever had a stain on your shirt and worried that someone will see it? Out of 10s to 100s of people you see in a day maybe a handful notice. The rest, are too worried of you noticing their flaw to even think of yours.
Bottom line is people don’t care about you, they care about themselves. Humans are selfish by nature. I’d guess it has something to do with self-preservation but hey I’m no psychologist. People care even less about your excuses or justifications. My favorite saying is “don’t tell me what you can’t do, tell me what you can do.” What you can’t do doesn’t help anyone’s situation, so why bother bringing it up? I promise I don’t say this to tear you down or make you feel bad.
So why am I telling you this?
Well first I want you to release yourself from worrying about what others think. You and I both know that you can’t please everyone so why not aim to please yourself? In this world you’re only as good as your last at bat, anyway. But if you keep stepping up to the plate no matter how many times you strike out, soon you’ll get a hit.
The other reason I tell you this is I want to encourage you to take ownership over your life. Too many people seek to place blame on others. To me that’s crazy because when you place the blame on someone else you give them power over your life. You say I can’t come to work because my babysitter got sick when in reality it’s because YOU didn’t have a back up plan. When you take responsibility for your life, you empower yourself to be in control.
Once you realize that you are in control it allows you to make better decisions. When you start making better decisions you start to live a better life. When you start to live a better life you spend more of your days happy instead of frustrated. And isn’t that what we all want? To be HAPPY.
Lastly, I want you to stop apologizing, so much. You don’t have to be sorry for being you, you don’t have to be sorry for being honest, you don’t HAVE to be sorry in general. Instead of being sorry all the time shift that attitude to gratitude.
Here’s how I do it:
When I’m late, (and I rarely am) instead of saying “hey, I’m sorry I’m late,” I say “hey, thanks for being patient.” When I’m being a boring host instead of saying “sorry for being a bore,” I say “thanks for hanging out with me.” And when I’m doing my introvert thing and want to turn down an invite instead of saying “I’m sorry I’m not going to be able to make it,” I say “I’m not going to be able to make it but thanks for thinking of me.” I know it sounds like I’m saying the same thing but by changing the language I use I change the way I feel about what I’m saying. Try it out!
So did that all make sense for you? Will this post help you live a higher quality of life? Remember you don’t need anyone’s approval to be you! Jusstin out!
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